Essential Influence
Influence is everywhere. Whether we influence and are influenced by others every day in every area of our lives. Most of us don’t spend any time to think about how effective we are.
We use influence with our colleagues, with our clients and certainly with our family and friends. How our clients and colleagues influence us (and we influence them!) directly impacts our profitability. And our ability to influence our family and friends impacts upon the very quality of our lives.
In fact, we do it all the time - automatically. Most of us never think about how we influence others. But if we take a little time and reflect on what we are doing, we can find ways to get better results more easily and with less stress. Essential Influence helps our clients achieve these results.
There are many fascinating findings that have been shown by scientists… findings that give us strategies and tools that we can use immediately to create better outcomes in our day-to-day lives. Here are a few to consider:
- Get people to like you
We like people who like us and we like people who like us. So look for things that you share in common with others with whom you are working. Finding schools or places or holidays is great, though even more powerful is when you can communicate that you have shared values.One of the easiest ways of demonstrating shared values is by complimenting others. Giving compliments shows that you value something that the other person has demonstrated and enhances the prospects of developing deeper rapport more easily.
- Give what you want to receive
The Golden Rule is not “She who has the gold makes the rules”, but rather “Do to others as you would have them do to you”, and is one of the most universal moral principles. Yet so many of us forget about this when it comes time to influence others. Create virtuous cycles by Paying it forward and when the time comes for them to say “thank you,” be ready for a reasonable request. - Sweet and sour: The power of contrast
Big things seem bigger when put beside small things. As negotiators, this implies that the emotional ’size’ of a concession depends upon the size of the deal - so if you want to improve the probability of getting that concession, compare it to something big rather than something small.Also, make big demands first. When you come back “to reality”, it will seem like you made a big concession and be a pleasant contrast for them.
- We believe our friends
Testimonials and references are powerful tools for increasing your influence. Make sure that you use people to whom your target can relate, but also remember to look for and ask for references at every opportunity. - Little steps lead to big steps
When you start making small (almost insignificant) steps in support of something, you will tend to continue down that path and make bigger steps. Small ones are great - though by making them public commitments, they grow in strength by playing on people’s need to be consistent.Salespeople have known this for a long time - they call it a “yes set”
- Win the war by losing battles
When you can conceed a small amount each time over many interactions, you will make your negotiation partner more pleased with their deal. Likewise, when you want a concession from them, do your best to take it all in one chunk so that you minimize the emotional cost.Frame courses of action in terms of what they will lose out on by not taking action now, and you’ll be more persuasive than if you focus on what they will gain. It is strange to start with, but it’s certainly consistent.
Expertise and trustworthiness are consistently liked to persuasiveness. How persuasive are you? How are you cultivating your persuasiveness? To learn more, make sure you contact Penny.
Tags: influence, negotiation